Kline Creative https://maliakline.com Professional writing for all media Thu, 10 May 2018 17:59:17 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.5 Reviling Grammar Nerds https://maliakline.com/index.php/2018/04/04/reviling-grammar-nerds/ https://maliakline.com/index.php/2018/04/04/reviling-grammar-nerds/#respond Wed, 04 Apr 2018 17:57:37 +0000 http://maliakline.com/?p=337 The truth came out last July, but it’s taken me eight months to wrap my head around the news. People like me are almost as despised as DUI checkpoints. “DUI checkpoints” rank first on haterdater.com’s list of things people in North Carolina hate most. Grammar nerds (a less offensive term than the one they used) came in second.

In a way, I am proud that I am No. 2 on any kind of list. I wasn’t even second in my kindergarten graduating class (I was robbed).

Still…how can grammar nerds like me be so reviled? Probably because we use words like reviled.
Another reason to hate us: Because we roll our eyes if a text-generation coworker meets someone on haterdater and says, “Her and I went to the brewery.” Take the pronouns apart, dude! “I went to the brewery.” “She went to the brewery,” so “She and I went to the brewery” is grammatically and maybe even grammarically correct. Obvi…

Haterdater promises to help you “meet someone who hates the same stuff.” Sounds like the perfect site for single grammar nerds looking for #lovethroughhate. Maybe there’s a chance that married grammar nerds can get a pass on this one. https://bit.ly/2GyBvUx

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Straight Flush https://maliakline.com/index.php/2015/09/14/straight-flush/ https://maliakline.com/index.php/2015/09/14/straight-flush/#respond Mon, 14 Sep 2015 18:26:26 +0000 http://maliakline.com/?p=232 The first time someone told me they wanted me to “flush” out an idea for an ad, I thought they were telling me to deposit said idea in the porcelain throne, shut the lid and tearfully wave buh-bye as it swirled toward the sanitary sewer.

It didn’t take me long to realize that they really wanted me to “flesh” out my idea, which may sound a little Dexter or Halloweenish, but at least it’s less scatological than flushing it out.  Note that I only used that $100 word here because no one will ever let me use it in an ad.

Over the years, I have amassed anecdotal evidence that indicates that between 49 and 58 percent of people in advertising use the word flush when they mean flesh, depending how much they’re into Mad Men and how many times they’ve watched The Crazy Ones.

Before I damage my current and future earning capability in the advertising industry by being an insufferable know-it-all, I will turn over the task of explaining the difference between flesh vs. flush to Merriam-Webster.

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Words Gone Wild https://maliakline.com/index.php/2015/09/14/words-gone-wild/ https://maliakline.com/index.php/2015/09/14/words-gone-wild/#respond Mon, 14 Sep 2015 18:25:58 +0000 http://maliakline.com/?p=230 After stuffing themselves on turkey and dressing yesterday on Thanksgiving, I bet some of your relatives headed for the couch and said they felt nauseous.

Many people think nauseous means to feel sick. It actually means to cause nausea.  So when people say they are nauseous, what they’re really saying is that they’re causing people around them to feel sick. Which, depending on your birth order or other factors, may be much more accurate in your family dynamic. But when you’re commenting on the state of your own digestive system, you should say, “I feel nauseated.”

Another commonly misused word is peruse. As I did for years, you might think peruse means to skim or glance over something. It actually means to review something carefully or in-depth. In other words, the perceived definition is actually opposite of the true definition.

Here’s one more before I go get a turkey sandwich for breakfast. Some people think bemused means amused or slightly tickled about something. What it really means is confused.

What other incidents of word confusion have you heard at your Thanksgiving table or elsewhere?

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Farthermore https://maliakline.com/index.php/2015/09/10/hello-world/ https://maliakline.com/index.php/2015/09/10/hello-world/#respond Thu, 10 Sep 2015 12:23:19 +0000 http://maliakline.com/?p=1 In 1997, Isuzu introduced the new tagline “Go Farther.” Last year, Ford introduced the new tagline “Go Further.”  So now I’m hopelessly confused (not that I wasn’t already). When should a copywriter use farther vs. further?

As usual, my muse, Grammar Girl, has the answer: “use ‘farther’ for physical distance and ‘further’ for metaphorical, or figurative, distance. It’s easy to remember because ‘farther’ has the word ‘far’ in it, and ‘far’ obviously relates to physical distance.”

I should have been satisfied with GGirl’s explanation. But since I’m a person perversely driven to go farther, further or both whether I’m driving a Ford or an Isuzu, I couldn’t stop myself from clicking on the next Google result. At that spiffy little link, Merriam-Webster (a.k.a. m-w.com) really had its grammar jammer on:

Farther and further have been used more or less interchangeably throughout most of their history, but currently they are showing signs of diverging. As adverbs they continue to be used interchangeably whenever spatial, temporal, or metaphorical distance is involved. But where there is no notion of distance, further is used.”

That’s way too temporal for me, m-w.com. The farther I get away from that definition the better.

Which brings us to the issue of using the words “farthermost” and “furthermore.” Oh, please, MaliaMania,” I hear you begging, “don’t go there, spatially, metaphorically or otherwise.”

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